An ethereal fog greeted us as we said goodbye to our Sometimes Home before the sun was fully awake. I used to think having more than one home was for the wealthy. I never considered a second home might be for the missionary making minimum wage who is required to have a contingency plan in place because they serve in an area known for chaos.
I didn’t expect to feel so vulnerable up there in the small but mighty Cessna 208. I didn’t know if I held my three-year-old’s hand for so long for his sake or my own. I was struck by the beauty of this developing country. I have to force myself to see and appreciate the beauty, because it’s so easy to get lost in the ugly.
“Oh Lord, how manifold are your works,” (Psalm 104:24, ESV).
My four year old threw a tantrum over snacks, desperate for control. The more we tried to work through it, the louder he got, competing with the volume of our plane. He’s was not handling the rapid change well. I wasn’t sure I was handling them any better. But at least I had the benefit of a few decades of learning how to wear a socially acceptable mask.
For a moment, I wondered if we had made a ginormous mistake. I thought to myself, “Who are we to think we can do this? What do we possibly have to offer? Is it worth risking my children’s well-being? Their lives?“
But was not and is not merely us – we are partnered with the Triune God, and the hundreds of saints supporting us with their prayers, encouragement, and talents. And we have Jesus. The Bread of Life. The Living Water. The Alpha and the Omega.
And yes, Jesus is always worth it. That’s not to say we foolishly take unnecessary risks. That’s not to say we ignore our family’s very real needs. But we also recognize that Jesus’s worth is greater than any human-quantified currency.
We landed at our first stop along our route where we would stay for a few days before continuing our journey onward. Several hours passed before I could sit and think through everything. Before I could freely wonder without being interrupted by life playing out in front of me. But my wondering led to worship, because God is good and His mercies are new every morning.
“May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works,
who looks on the earth and it trembles, who touches the mountains and they smoke! I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being.. May my meditation be pleasing to him, for I rejoice in the Lord,” (Psalm 104:31-34, NIV).
What risks have you taken for the Lord? Is He asking you to consider taking another? Read and meditate on Psalm 104 in its entirety as you continue to think on these things. And feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Faithfully,
Joy From Fear 