Shortly after we moved to Africa, I woke up one morning very confused about where I was. I had been deep in a dream, walking around my Grandmother’s property, making plans with how to best use our time before our overseas move. But then, I slowly began opening my eyes, blinking a few times trying to gain clarity. The mosquito net surrounding me came into view. Then our neighbors house out my window. And after a few moments, I remembered I was in East Africa, not the Pacific Northwestern United States.
Processing our new reality – the reality that we had been pursuing for five years – took time. A colleague commented on how divided our transition was. With that meant many opportunities to celebrate “arrival.” Move to East Africa. Set up our contingency home. Move to North Africa – our primary home and worksite. Learn a new language. Share the Gospel with Bibleless people who don’t know Jesus while supporting a Bible translation team.
Our long journey reminded me so much of pregnancy. Trying and failing. Trying and failing, again. And again, and again. Then, two pink lines that forever change your life. Hearing the heart beat for the first time. The first ultrasound. The first kicks. Wondering if your body will ever be comfortable again. Then waiting. Waiting to hold that baby. Waiting to sleep on your stomach again. Waiting to eat sushi again. And then the day finally arrives. After hours of literal blood, sweat, and tears, your new bundle of joy arrives! And then the game starts all over again, as you wait for each new first, each milestone in the life of the baby that looks so much like your husband after you did all that work.
Sometimes, our minds, bodies, and souls accept these changes on completely different schedules. Moving across the world (bodily acceptance) is very different than having peace in a country that is completely different from what you are familiar with (soul acceptance). Sometimes, we struggle to accept the station we find ourselves in. Other times, we are blown away by it because it is just so wonderful. And every now and again, we find ourselves in some paradoxical type of in-between.
No matter what season of life we find ourselves in, God invites us to be honest with Him about our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and submit our felt reality to His truth. God’s truth provides stability when life is chaotic, unpredictable, and full of change. And His truth provides invigoration when life feels dull, monotonous, and stagnant.
If the “being honest with God” part is the thing holding you back, remember: we cannot hide from God! The author of Hebrews writes, “And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account,” (4:13, ESV). There is no reason not to be honest with God. When we are honest with ourselves and One who holds the world in His hands, we are better able to accept the present and move with confidence into the future.
King David penned, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us,” (Psalm 62:8, ESV, emphasis added). Yes and amen. God is the ultimate safe space. His holiness and transcendence are attributes to relish.
I encourage you to take time to prayerfully consider the following:
- How does the transcendence of God offer you stability?
- What, if anything, do you need to be honest with God about today?
- What, if anything, is holding you back from submission to God’s truth?
- Are you guilty of withholding praise in the good times? Are are you guilty of hiding when times are hard?
- Are you confused about how you got to the place you find yourself in? Ask the Lord to draw near to and bring clarity to you regarding this issue.
To further your study on this topic, read and meditate on Psalm 62 in its entirety, James 4:8-10, and Philippians 4:4-9.
And feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!
Faithfully,
Joy From Fear 